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We usually stay the whole day in church (since every Saturday we have social nights in the evening  and revival in the afternoon),since our house is around 30 minutes via cab away.Last Saturday,while waiting for my hubby to finish his usual video transfer of the church service,I was talking to some indonesian friends.Then I noticed chloe outside the church  riding a bicycle! I was so surprised that I called my husband to see her.I’m the scrary type of person when it comes to accidents,I guess that’s why I let my husband and Chloe go to the playground most of the time.I don’t want her to get my coward side.

But my husband said “ just let her play,let her learn on her own.” and so I just watched her from the inside.After a few minutes,the boy who was teaching her how to bike went inside and said he’s tired to teaching Chloe,so I went outside to look after her.

I can see that she’s not scared at all.Not even thinking that she could fall and hurt herself.Up she goes on the bike,trying to make it move.I laughed at her perseverance.Down again,she would push the bike to whatever position or direction she wants it to go.Then she’ll call me “mommy help me!” I tell her what to do then just like any three year old she’ll tell me ” let me,let me.” I’d go back to my chair and watch.Carefully not to let her notice my fear.

Then it happened ,she fell! I suddendly stood up almost running to her side.Before I asked her “are you ok?” I heard her say “mommy,I’m ok” is a soft confident voice.She stood up,and went up the bike again.

Sometimes I’d wish she’d be telling me those words “mommy I’m ok”, until she grows old and can do everything on her.Until she’s old.

I guess I worry too much.I guess I don’t have the courage she has.

I hope she’ll grow up without fear.And that the only fear she’ll have is the fear of the Lord.